So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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