Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize