One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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