GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
