how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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