She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Sext me about skeletons
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
