You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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