yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
