2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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