And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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