She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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