I heard we made out
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
