when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
