i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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