I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
