She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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