Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
