i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
