i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
