So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
