I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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