where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize