wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
