went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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