I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
