Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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