Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
