since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
