3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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