you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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