it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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