Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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