im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize