I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
