Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
