You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
