Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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