Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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