the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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