He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
