You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
