whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
