Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
