She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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