Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
