So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
