was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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