Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
