i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
