just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I AM VODKA MAN
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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