We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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