Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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