idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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