All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The uberlube is also flammable
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
