why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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