No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
