I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
