For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
