So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
